How to Take Control of Your Life

1. Develop a habit of asking Allah swt for all your needs.  Ask Him. He Listens.  Turn each and every anxiety, each fear and each concern into a Dua (supplication).  Look at it as another reason to submit to Allah swt.  Go in Sajda (prostration), during which you are closest to Allah, thank Him for all His bounties and plead to Him for all your requirements.  Allah swt listens and He already knows what is in your heart, but He wants you to ask Him for what you want.  

The Prophet said: Allah swt likes those who ask Him and plead to Him for their requirements.  The Prophet often used to say that in prayers, he finds rest and relief.  He would also regularly ask for God's forgiveness and remain in prostration during prayer praising God (Tasbeeh) and asking for His forgiveness.  

However, remember that Allah wants you to be specific. The Prophet advised us to ask Allah for exactly what we want instead of making vague Duas in a parrot-fashion way.  "Dua is the essence of worship" the Prophet used to say.  Allah says in Al-Qur'an: "Call on your Lord humbly and secretly; surely He does not love those who exceed the limits".  (7:55).

2. Learn the secret of - 'Tie your Camel first, i.e. Do your Part.  One day Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, noticed a Bedouin leaving his camel in the market place without tying it.  He asked the Bedouin, "Why don't you tie down your camel?"  The Bedouin answered, "I put my trust in Allah."  The Prophet then said, "Tie your camel first, then put your trust in Allah".

We should never become fatalistic.  Although we know that only Allah swt is in control and that He has decreed all things, we are each responsible for making the right choices and doing the right thing in all situations of our lives.  We must take action.  We must work to alleviate the hardships we, our families and our communities face.  Allah swt says in Al-Qur'an: "Verily Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own condition (first)".  (13: 11).

So, turn each worry into a Dua and each Dua into an action plan. That will show your commitment to your request and will focus your energy in the right direction.

3. Remember that human responsibility is limited.  While we need to carry out our duty to the best of our abilities, always remember that you don't control the outcome of events.  Even the Prophets a.s. did not control the outcome of their efforts.  Some were successful, others were not.  Once you have done your duty, leave the results to Allah swt.  Regardless of the results of your efforts, you will be rewarded for the part you have played.

However, never underestimate your abilities.  Understand the concept of Barakah (blessings from Allah) and remember that Allah can and Insha'Allah will expand them if you are sincerely exerting your energies for the right path.

4. Leave the world behind you - Five Times a Day.  Use the five daily prayers as a means to become more Hereafter-oriented and less attached to this temporary world.  Start distancing yourself from this world and all its attractions and responsibilities as soon as you hear Adhan, the call to prayer.  When you perform Wudu, either recite the Duas which have been prescribed by Ma'sumeen a.s. or keep repeating Shahada, the declaration of faith, as water drops slip down your face, hands, arms, and hair.

When you stand ready to pray, mentally prepare yourself to leave this world and all of its worries and stresses behind you.  Of course, Shaytan will try to distract you during prayer.  But whenever this happens, go back and remember Allah swt.  The more you return, the more Allah swt will reward you for it.  Also, make sure your Sajdas (prostrations) are talking Sajdas, i.e. Sajdas in which you are really connecting to Allah swt and seeking His Mercy, praising Him, and asking His forgiveness.

5. Seek help through Sabr & Salat.  Seek help through Sabr and Salat (Quran 2:45).  This instruction from Allah provides us with two critical tools that can ease our worries and pain. Patience and prayer are two oft-neglected stress-busters.  Sabr is often translated as patience but it is not just that.  It includes self-control, perseverance, endurance, and a focussed struggle to achieve one's goal.  Unlike patience, which implies resignation, the concept of Sabr includes a duty to remain steadfast to achieve your goals despite all odds.

Being patient gives us control in situations where we feel we have little or no control.  "We cannot control what happens to us but we can control our reaction to our circumstances" - this is the mantra of many modern-day self-help books.  Patience helps us keep our mind and attitude towards our difficulties in check.

6. Excuse Me! You are Not Running the World, He is!  It is important to remind ourselves that we don't control all the variables in the world. Allah (SWT) does.  He is the Wise, the All-Knowing.  Sometimes our limited human faculties are not able to comprehend His wisdom behind what happens to us and to others, but knowing that He is in control and that as human beings we submit to His Will, enriches our humanity and enhances our obedience (Uboodiah in Arabic) towards Him.

Read the story of the encounter of Moses (H. Musa a.s.) with the mysteries behind God's decision (Quran: 18:60-82).  Familiarize yourself with Allah swt's 99 Names, which are also known as His Attributes.  It is a powerful way of knowing Him.  

7. Commit Ayat-al-Kursi to memory and repeat it often, knowing and understanding exactly what it says:  "God-there is no deity save Him, the Ever-Living, the Self-Subsistent Fount of All being.  Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. His is all that is in the heavens and all that is on earth.  Who is there that could intercede with Him, unless it be by His leave?  He knows all that lies open before men and all that is hidden from them, whereas they cannot attain to aught of His knowledge save that which He wills them to attain. His eternal power overspreads the heavens and the earth, and their upholding wearies Him not.  And He alone is truly exalted, tremendous." (Quran 2:255).  The entire message of Life and Death is summarised in this verse.

The Prophet swww recommended reading this verse, known as Ayat-al-kursi, after each prayer.  Once Ali a.s., approached the Prophet during a difficult time and he found the Prophet in Sajda, where he kept repeating "Ya Hayyu Ya Qayyum", words which are part of this verse.

8. Birds Don't Carry their Food - Allah swt is al Razzaq (the Provider).  "How many are the creatures that carry not their own sustenance?  It is Allah swt Who feeds them and you, for He hears and knows all things (Quran 29:60)."

By reminding yourself that He is the Provider, you will remember that getting a job or providing for your family in these economically and politically challenging times, when Muslims are often the last to be hired and the first to be fired, is in Allah swt's Hands and not yours.  As Allah says in Al- Qur'an: "And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine.  And if anyone puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is (Allah) for him.  For Allah swt will surely accomplish His purpose.  Verily, for all things has Allah swt appointed a due proportion (Quran 65:3).

9. Allah swt controls Life and Death.  If you fear for your physical safety and security, remember that only Allah gives life and takes it back and, He has appointed the time for it. No one can harm you except if Allah swt wills.  As He says in the Quran:  "Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!" (Quran 4:78).  So take the necessary precautions but do not worry or fear, because this may bring about depression and probably your downfall.

10. Remember that this life is short and our everlasting life awaits us.   It's easy to get caught up in our own stress and anxiety.  However, if we remember that our life is short and temporary, and that the everlasting life is in the Hereafter, this will put our worries in perspective.  (87:17 & 4:122).  This belief in the transitory nature of the life of this world reminds us that whatever difficulties, trials, anxieties, and grief we suffer in this world are, Insha'Allah, something we will only experience for a short period of time. And more importantly, if we handle these tests with patience, Allah will reward us for it.

ICA - Project Enlightenment